


Six Flags to Destroy Them All

by ThreeHats



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:35:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6730132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zim knew that the humans would be easier to conquer if he could understand all of the aspects of their culture. He knew that they were fickle, and needed to cater to their petty emotions at every turn. His classmates had to get permission slips signed to attend something called Six Flags. He wasn’t sure why they were all so excited, but he was certain that it was likely due to getting to meet world leaders as planting flags to claim ownership had been brought up in many of the history lessons he had heard in class. After getting signatures forged by his robot parents, he knew that this trip would bring him one step closer to world domination.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Flags to Destroy Them All

**Characters:**  Invader Zim, Guy in a Sheet pretending to be a ghost

 **Location:** Six Flags

 **Scenario:** Taking selfies

 

Zim knew that the humans would be easier to conquer if he could understand all of the aspects of their culture. He knew that they were fickle, and needed to cater to their petty emotions at every turn. His classmates had to get permission slips signed to attend something called Six Flags. He wasn’t sure why they were all so excited, but he was certain that it was likely due to getting to meet world leaders as planting flags to claim ownership had been brought up in many of the history lessons he had heard in class. After getting signatures forged by his robot parents, he knew that this trip would bring him one step closer to world domination.

 

After an excruciatingly long bus ride in a vehicle that smelled like the decades of school children that had played farting games on the seats, they arrived at a decrepit park that had people screaming in terror as they flew around tracks in bullet cars. In his mind Zim was thinking how he misunderstood that this was not a place for meeting world leaders, but a means to make humans think that terrible situations are fun, which made the matter of attending jobs and school make more sense. “Humans are far more stupid than I thought.” Zim muttered to himself while looking at a costumed mascot that some small drooling children were standing nearby. 

 

While schoolchildren going on a trip to a theme park is a common occurrence, the same was true of groups of drunk college kids. While Zim was scanning the park to try and decipher the various aspects of the theme park “conditioning” rides, an intoxicated man who wore a sheet over his head in attempts to photo bomb park selfies was sauntering in a direct line with Zim. Due to his fuzzy vision, the small green child seemed like he was dressing up too, and his drunken mind thought that this was another of his kind who was dressing as a zombie or alien to also photobomb selfies taken at the park. “Hey man, nice getup. You here to bomb some pics too? Did you pre-game?” said the sheeted figure. 

 

“AN APPARITION!” Zim yelled at the obvious human in a sheet. He had seen some horror movies in an attempt to see what things could truly drive fear into the hearts of the inhabitants of Earth, but had only watched very early horror movies and indie films, not understanding that a person in a sheet wasn’t actually a ghost. “YOU WILL HELP ME TO DRIVE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF THESE HUMANS” Zim commanded. “right on little green dude. Let’s go scare some unsuspecting humans!”    
  
Zim was surprised when the sheeted figure was able to not only pick him up, but placed him atop his shoulders. “I CAN COMMUNE WITH THE SPIRITS OF THESE FILTHY CREATURES. I CAN BUILD AN ARMY OF THEIR FORGOTTEN SOULS AND TAKE OVER THIS PUNY PLANET. ONWARD GHOST!” Zim said and pointed forward. The sheeted man made a B-line for a gaggle of young women who were taking picture after picture of themselves while waiting in line. He waited for the perfect moment, and sprung up as they finished the countdown from 3 to take a photo. It would have been the perfect photobomb had Zim not yelled “YOU FOOLS” from behind them, ruining the shot.    
  
After some disconcerting looks from the women whose picture had been ruined, the guy in a sheet set Zim down to have a heart to heart. “Hey little buddy, you can’t warn them when we’re going to photo bomb. Otherwise they’ll know we’re here and won’t take the picture.” Zim was starting to understand that if they weren’t present in the photo, then the apparition couldn’t enter their mobile devices and control their minds. This was a way to control them quickly and quietly, but it was a tedious process to “bomb” a photo for every person. Knowing the scale of the task at hand, he realized that he must remain silent and watchful for every person that had a phone in their hand. “I SEE YOUR GAME SPIRIT. COME, AND WE SHALL BRING ABOUT THE DOOM OF THE HUMANS.” he said triumphantly. The guy put Zim atop his shoulders, and they spent the afternoon sneaking into photos left and right.    
  
By the end of the evening, Zim knew it was time to rise the bus back to their horrid stink pot of a town, knowing that the other children wasted their day on conditioning their minds to return to world of school. He shook hands with the sheeted man who said, “It was nice working with you little buddy. Hope to see you get tagged on the photos somewhere! I’ll look out for you!” “YE-ES! We will make these humans rue the day they were foolish enough to let us capture their minds so carelessly!” Zim said with a wicked smile painted across his face. Now that he knew he could work with human spirits and control them, taking over the planet would be a simple task. 

  
  


*      *     *

 

Tina’s phone sat on her dresser with a dim blue light illuminating her room. The photo of her and her three friends with Zim and a man in a sheet in the background was showing on the screen in the open Twitter app which she had hashtagged “sixflags”. Tina laid motionless staring blankly at the ceiling as drool slid down her cheek from her open mouth. Her phone’s screen had two eyes appear glowing in red from where the ghosts eyes would be, at the same time her own eyes began to glow a deep red.


End file.
